Newsdead

Weight, bear down on me
Burden my calm
Squeeze out it’s focus

When I was young and unafraid
I made a promise to my mother
Who turned the television off
When vodka pushed like hurricane floods
at her eyelids
Held in her arms like a toddler
smothering stuffed bears for their solace
It nauseates
the words panicked at the back of her throat
more abrupt than Vesuvius
it erupts softly as a sentence
with the ferocity of war


“Why do you love me?”

There are times when he is thankful to be alive
Under the hot glow of black lights
shared heat of the crowd

His pulse beats slower
Than the pace of peace
Drumkick defribillate him
Coal to the engine

Last night I looked on the chaos
Of life and death
And was unafraid
A foothold in the freefall
It can not carry him further
But it cradles him long enough to
Fall of his own volition

Light yields to shadow
Satiating the darkness
To prevent the void

Over encumbered by an upringing
The hounds of the void
that haunt him
gnawing at old bones

He builds a castle
From the mud he finds
And the things he sells
To watch it crumble
Under a donkey’s jaw

Tears himself from sunlight
To reach Illumination
Some secrets are better left kept
Held close to her chest
Like a newborn suckling
It’s mothers breasts

Keep it alive

When the forests make way for fields
He will bind to paper planes
An escape
Like gusts on Samara trees
Propeller seeds
Adrift on windy seas

His feet no longer take him
As a human being

Reopen wound
Of my closed mind
Stone sails
Drift me to open sea

This is the suture to my upringing
 

(He raises boulder fists
To shake them in rage
Heaviness heals pulverizing weight)

Fear is a cage
It keeps danger from getting in
Although the inside is toxic

(He saw his redemption in the form that you take
Walked the maze unburdened
Lifting you
When it was less than boulders)

And he can not forget
The things that redeemed you
Have doomed him instead

Does this damned drought nest itself around an oasis? 

Callousless appendages shine bright in desert sunlight,
I have always needed them to function more like armor
and less like art
I am throttled breathless by an ideal’s hand

Is it all worth living for?

nonononononononononono
nonononononononononono 
nononononono(yes)nononono
nonononononononononono
nonononononononononono
nononononononononononono
nononononononononononno

Torn muscles blackout drunk
When words formed around his lips
And escaped
like wisps of pink gases 
emancipated in open air
Like too few skies on summer evenings
Where we learned to kiss
I, the pacifist in wartime
Who kept rifles in his closet
Never expecting the solemnity to last
She, seeing heaven in everything
But holding it with flames
saliva unsinged me long enough
To breathe “I love you”
Into her open mouth 

Do not be fooled
By pink clouds 
On summer evenings
They cut like razors in red lungs
“She is no longer yours”